Yeah that pretty much explains how I am now.I feel so stressed out with my studies.I mean I honestly don't get anything.What teacher is teaching,I don't get any of it.Especially physics and biology. Not one bit. I'm so upset and I'm so scared.March test is a week away and although I probably won't be here for it,I'm still scared.
I just need this month long break.To figure out everything I fail to understand.To catch up.But time waits for no one right.And with every week,I'm feeling more and more lost.I just need everything to stop.I need everything to slow down.Its all going past way too quickly.
Oh,why won't I be here for the March test you ask ? Well thats because my track and field district championships is clashing with the test.Its on the exact same days.I wouldn't say I'm upset about it though,because running is the only thing keeping me sane now.Keeping me from madness.I'm so thankful for it.Without it,I wouldn't know what to do with my life.
About MSSS merentas desa a few weeks ago.Lets just say I didn't perform well.Got no.25. Out of 78 others. And you know,at first,to me,it was considered alright.Not too good neither too bad.I mean it is my first time you know.But apparently my dad and coaches don't think its good enough.They have high expectations,I get it.They want me to succeed,I get it.But at least have some encouraging words ? All I wish they would say is,how its okay and how i already tried my best.Not make me feel worst.
But it doesn't really matter.I need to improve.A lot.In order for me to get there.To my ultimate dream.I know.It just seems so hard.Its scary,being so close,but so far away from my dream.
