Dance,its such a beautiful art.

Read All About It - Emili Sande

You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life time stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?
So come, on come on
Come on, come on
You've got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Baby we're a little different
There's no need to be ashamed
You've got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away
Come on, Come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

At night we're waking up the neighbours
While we sing away the blues
Making sure that we remember yeah
Cause we all matter too
If the truth has been forbidden
Then we're breaking all the rules
So come on, come on
Come on, come on,
Let's get the tv and the radio
To play our tune again
It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events
There's no need to be afraid
I will sing with you my friend
Come on, come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

Yeah we're all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
Now we're finally finding our voices
So take a chance, come help me sing this
Yeah we're all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
And now we're finally finding our voices
So take a chance, come help me sing this

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it oh

Mid-terms.

Wait,mid-terms ? What mid-terms ? 

I AM SO NOT PREPARED. 
And yet,here I am on this blog wasting my precious time.Good job Li May,really.

Sighhh.
I just need some motivation and I can't seem to find any.
Being so lazy nowadays I just have no idea why.
Let's just hope I find that motivation,fast.

Mid-terms are exactly a week away.

Oh yes,treasurer for this week's bayangan ! :)
I'm a happy kid.
Good luck form 5's,for your mid-terms starting this week !

A twist.

"Don't be sad,there is always a twist to everything.I know whats gonna happen.Don't cry.Smile."

Shifu,thank you so much.That really,really helped.You have no idea how much those words mean to me.You gave me hope.Helped me realise that all is not gone.I still have a fighting chance to prove my worth.Thank you.It was what I needed.I mean,wow it really sucks feeling like a leftover.While everyone else was busy with their bayangan,I'm just standing helplessly on the sidelines.Watching.Waiting.Wishing.Hoping that I'd be able to have my chance.To do the same.Just the way all the seniors came and asked me why I was still at the bengkel and not one of the top 13.Top 13.The way they said it seemed like I have already lost my chance.The way they were as surprised that I wasn't in the bayangan.And then Jia Tong had to tell me that the first bayangan were usually the confirmed ones.Sucks much.He was asking me to rethink why I didn't get in,saying I must have done something.Of course I did something,I did everything.I poured my heart and soul into this.All my time and energy.I just don't want it all to not work out.It just really doesn't make sense.They know how much I did for the board,they saw it themselves.But yet,this ? I'm so confused.Right now,I can only trust in shifu's words.That there will be a twist and it will be in my favour.May the odds,be ever in my favour.

***********************************************************************************

18/04/13

"There are billions and billions of stars in the night sky,but there is always a star which shine brighter than the others."

A twist huh ? Is this what he meant ? They announced the second round of bayangans today and I got the secretary post.Strangely,I know I should be happy and I know this was what I wanted but I don't feel happy.I don't know.I guess its because I wanted to be the person in this post for the first round of bayangan.But then I guess God had other plans for me.Is this what he planned ? If so,I am happy.Not very happy but just quite.But its okay.At least I have a chance now,better than nothing earlier.I have a strange feeling the G5 or maybe even all the seniors know I cried about this thing,cause today after announcing the bayangans,Yasmin was like smile Li May ! Haha.I honestly am wondering how they all found out.Because I honestly don't think shifu would be a person to tell them all these but I don't know la.Mostly I'm wondering how he found out.Its pretty embarassing that they all know about it but yeah,whatever.There is a part of me inside,who is praying and hoping and wishing and begging that this is not all what he meant by a twist.That there is more to the twist than this.Because if it is only this,it doesn't really change anything right.What I'm really hoping is the twist is that I will be in the Top 13.The real Top 13.Its crazy how much I want to be a part of the G5.Like seriously.Oh well,I'm just having faith.

We happened to have a rehearsal for the MAC today in the hall after recess.Just the feeling of being there to accept an award for our PMR results,its really really satisfying.I feel happy and it really hit me that,I actually managed to get straight As and I am one of 'em good students.Then because it was a full rehearsal,they had all the prize-presentation for the post-grads and Tokoh Murid who are not here.Pn.Mahnum came over to me and asked me to just be the Tokoh Murid for this rehearsal.But wow,the feeling of standing on the stage.Eventhough it wasn't my name which was being announced,eventhough it wasn't all my achievements that were being read out,eventhough it wasn't the pictures of me on the slide,it felt so real and nice.And that special moment today,that I was so lucky to have was honestly just a bigger motivation to me to get there.Because that is my ultimate goal,Tokoh Murid.It was what I planned ever since I was in form 2 and it has never changed since then.I know I have a chance because trust me,when I study hard,I can achieve things I never thought was possible.I know that because during the mid year exam once,I studied quite hard but still last minute and managed to get above 90 for all the subjects.So I know what I'm capable of.Its just that I'm lazy.But I'll get there,no slacking of any longer.I want that moment to be mine in two years time.When I was standing there,En.Anuar said this. "Tahun 2014,Li May jadi Tokoh Murid ya ? " And Pn.Mahnum nodded.Thank you teachers.I promise I will do everything I can.Because that was and always has been my ultimate goal from the start.My  ultimate goal was never just reaching MSSM.It has always been reaching MSSM,getting straight A+'s in SPM and getting Tokoh Murid.I have always wanted that for myself,to be the reason behind the big smiles behing my parent's faces and to feel all that happiness and sense of achievement.I will be their pride and joy.

And I will start now.

Have faith.Despite all the disappointments.

Having faith.Thats the only thing I can do right now.Having faith in God and just believing that I will make it.

So I kind of sort of maybe cried a little in class yesterday.It was embarassing.But I couldn't hold back the tears.Alright,I admit.It was partly because they announced the first round of lembaga bayangan candidates and I wasn't one of them.It sucks okay.I know they all said not to lose hope and it will change every week and everything.But honestly,if you guys were in my situation,I doubt you guys will feel alright about it either.After all the effort I spent on this.After sacrificing so much.It just sucks to know that your other batchmates don't think you're good enough for the top 13.Because this lembaga bayangan thing was based on votes from my own batchmates.It sucks even more to know that all the prefects in your class were chosen and you weren't one of them lucky ones.You feel so left out.I feel like leftovers.No, wait. I am.After all that talk about how I have really good chances,yeah it honestly doesn't seem like it now.

The main reason I cried was because  MSSS for track and field was supposed to be next week.And I wanted to be there.So so so badly.But I didn't make it,all because of one stupid fall.It turned everything upside down.I definitely don't think I got what I deserved.Because I know I worked my ass off for this and it feels so horrible to know that I didn't get what I felt I deserve.One fall.Everything went wrong.I feel like this year's MSSD was so pointless.I didn't achieve anything.At all.Just the thought of how if i actually qualified,I would be so busy with district training and preparations for MSSS.Just the thought of how I shouldn't be in school at that moment&how I should have been at USJ 23,training my butt off.It was more than enough to break me.I tried.Not to let the tears out.But I failed,so badly.

Most of my classmates thought it was because I didn't get into the lembaga bayangan.Well congratulations,yes it was partially because of that.Honestly I don't care what they would be saying behind my back.I know what I want and that is enough.All I wish for is for everything to be alright,for everything to work out.All I want is for the seniors and the teachers to believe in me.All I need is that elusive post,and the reassurance that I will make it there.

So right now,all I can do is

Living young,wild & free

I just got back from the most failed Sukan Tara ever.Stupid school had to have it in the afternoon just because they didn't want to disrupt our study time and of course that resulted in many students not coming.*sigh* 

Thank God,for there were quite a number of rumah biru participants.Thank you guys to those who came for rumah biru :') Just hope we can emerge as the overall champions for sukan tara and gain more points.I skipped my tuition for it y'know ? And it started raining.Not heavily la but moderately.Can't believe I only managed to get like 5 points for rumah biru.Well I ain't the best thrower,nor am I the best jumper so yeah.At least I got 3 points for 100M (y).It was so funny cause right after my race was Eva's race and I shouted at her to go slower in chinese and she started laughing halfway and went slower :p Can't believe that actually worked ! And she came up to me half-pissed after that saying how the teachers scolded her for laughing.Oops.

Was a fun sukan tara though,and wet one.Had this mini water war with Eva,Appala and Razan.Was so stupid ermahgerd.But hey,no harm being a little kid once in a while right ?There were people staring but honestly. 

 At least it shows we're young at heart.HEH.

Anyway,school was sort of fun today too,with Joanne,Jay and Cynnie being so high.We were all singing HSM songs.(I know,whut.) Laughed a whole lot in class,and we managed to complete all our homework ! That never happens.So its sort of a bloody miracle ngehe. 

I think,my change is working.I'm completing all my homework on time,doing everything.I can't even believe it myself.But change is good.

Cheers to living young,wild and free :) 

Hello April.

April 2nd,2013.

"I just want to be remembered."

Gosh this is gonna be a dreadful month.Preparing for the mid-term exams.Nerve-wracking important interviews.Projects.Homework.Worst of all, I have yet to see ANY break at all this whole month.Darn.

Let's just hope I pull through.Interviews.Prefect interviews.Shit.Did I mention I mess up easily ?Its supposed to be somewhere this week.I'm so not prepared.

Need to lots of catching up with my studies and running.Been slacking a hell lot.Hopefully I will be able to do well in mid term.Need to get really good results so my chances of being able to go to forum will increase hehehe.

By the way,I think,I THINK,I'm finally getting the hang of Physics YAAYYY (Y)
Bio ? I still have no clue what its all about.
I'll get there ;)