The memory of being here with you,is one i'm gonna take my life through

Happy New Year you guys ! :) This is especially for you guys !
Warning : If you hate gayness & cheesy crap then please exit this page before you get an asthma attack lul whut. 

For Dharsh :)
Hi babygirl , ;) Remember you said when it comes to you and me its never gay ? So don't you give me this :

I will slap you. :P Anywayyy,Happy New Year babyy ! Its a new dawn,its a new day,its a new lifeee ! For us & I'm feeling good ! No actually I don't really feel so good TEEHEE. Its been 3 years darll,you & I both know that for us to still be best friends up till now,its a special friendship that most people don't have.I've always been so grateful to God,for letting me meet you that one day in 1 Usaha.I honestly thought I was gonna sit with Jo for the entire year,but obviously God had better plans for me.I had to sit with a stranger and the whole time I was beside you I was hoping you'd take the initiative and errr..make the move (lul) because I'm socially awkward.Okay la maybe only around people I don't really know. But I guess it took some teachers who weren't proficient in English (was that right lul Idk) to get us to start talking to each other.Oh no wait,I mean to start SMILING at each other and also my correction tape who decided to end its short-lived life to get us to start talking hehe. Weird huh ? But then we started getting closer because you had no one to recess with since Prasena and Iris were prefects and you came with us boohoo :P and after that,I guess I don't even need to say much,we bonded so much with each other throughout this 3 years ! Its crazy ! I guess its because I'm a little retarded inside ,you are a little retarded inside,we all are and there is no one else who are as retarded as us so we just had to bond. Shit I love my retarded theory. Ermahgawd what am I crapping really.Just to summarise all that,you mean the world to me so please don't ever ever change.I hope we'd still continue bonding with each other for the next few years and hopefully make the term "best friends forever" come true. Remember,forever is only just the beginning ;) haha,I love you Dharshyy ! :p May this year help us make more amazing memories together <3




For the retarded woman who has an incurable obsession with kids,Joanne Theresa ;)

H-h-h-h-Haiiiii :)

Sorry for posting that up hahaha :p Its better than the sleepover one okay ;) hahahaa. Anyway babyyy
I honestly don't know what to say la hahah.Happy New Year ! :) I hope this year,will help us make more precious memories together and for us to bond even closer. <3 Firstly,you are beautiful.Yes baby I meant that stop denying it.You are.We all know that.A person with a great big heart like yours,you are just the sweetest and kindest person on Earth and we all love you so much for you being just the way you are.Yes at times,you can be annoying with your Rafa and your love for One Direction omg seriously ?! -.- Maybe its just because I love The Wanted la but ergh. At times,you can also be the person with the least attention span.Please tell your stories without any delays you know how much we hate that.But then again,those times are nothing compared to the other times where you're the kindest person on Earth,where you help us do everything we ask you to do without saying a word,where you tolerate me when I bully you like hell,when you play along with us when we act like we don't want to be with you,when we act like we love each other but don't love you oops ;) but you still love us all the time,each and every day.I know I've said this almost a million times,but baby,stop being so nice.Just stop.Its killing me :').We've known each other for the longest time since standard one back in primary school and although we weren't close,we did talk :) You were so quiet back then omg it was like heaven on Earth. HAHAHA I kidding :p Thank you for these past 9 years,I really cherish each and every moment we spend together and I know you do too ;) Have a great year baby and always remember that I love you. :) btw,look below. haha don't be jealous ;)


For MY PRETTY  JAYSHREE ;) (take that Joanne)
you're gonna kill me for this but asdfghlkghi this photo still gets me every time i look at it so voila!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH.
SO CUTE LA YOU CASSERIE. Is that how you spell it ? Idk la whatever.
Happy New Year !! :D I hope you have an amazing year,but you always do.You're super smart and hardworking it makes me speechless.Stop being a nerd,stop being so pretty I hate you,stop attracting all the pariah boys attention omg its so creepy, but don't stop making all of us love you :) Jay Jay Ily even more now that you have the same name as one of The Wanted's guys, Jay Mc Guiness hehe. Sorry I know that was a little out of the blue. You darling,have been a big help to me :) Everytime I'm sad and down,you're always there for me.You cheer me up and so does the rest and thats one of the reasons I freaking love all of you.Continue striving for the best,because you deserve it and we all know that. :) All the effort you put into your studies :) just wow. Thank you so much for helping me with my PMR because I'm gonna say this,and I really really truly mean it,i don't think I would've been able to get straight As if it wasn't for your last minute tutoring. You should do that for SPM also la,be my tutor for life. ;) So I definitely owe it to you,and also of course Joanne,Prasena and Iris and more for giving me last minute revision classes.HAHA I'm sorry but I think I forgot all about the kek crap already :p You're one in a million Jay,and please stay the way you are,don't ever change,continue being the one and only Jayshree that we love :) I love you ! <3

Gold Forever

So yesterday,I went over to Joanne's place for her Christmas Party ! :) Was so excited and psyched for it as I'll be able to see everyone there again after so so long ! Really missed them oh my goodness. So I went there,and the first person I see is Dharsh ! My baby omg ! Aimi,Nameetha,Cyn Er and of course Joanne were also there. Gave them massive massive hugs cause I missed them like hell.So we went to have our lunch first,the boys were late !

Then they came ! Thanesh,Agilan,Jun Fai,Appala,Nicholas and KH. It felt so good seeing them it was like being in school all over again :) hahaha. Then we had a good chat,laughed a lot,went up to Jo's room,made a mess of her bed. Threw this ball she had at each other,drank Sparkling Juice,gossiped,played a brief truth or dare and just had a great time. :) I haven't laughed like that for so long. They just make me feel happy,and I am so blessed to have them as my best and closest friends. <3 It was a day well spent,we went home at 6.

I can't wait for school to reopen,because I've missed it.Is that weird ? haha. Its a whole new year next year,and I really can't wait to start running and everything. :)

Thank you guys,for all the joy you've brought into my life these past 3 years. :)

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

I can't even begin to explain how elated I am about this.PMR results were out a couple of days ago when I was still in Sydney.So I was anxious the whole time there,trying to get someone to inform me of my results since I was unable to collect it myself.Sydney is about 3 hours ahead from Malaysian time so that made the wait much more agonizing.

But the results were out & surprisingly Thanesh was the first person who told me 'bout my results.Honestly my hopes of either Joanne or Cyn Er being the first to tell me just went down the drain...But anyway,he said I got straight As ! So obviously coming from him,I tend to be a little suspicious on the truthfulness of it all so I asked him whether he was serious or not but he did not reply. So I had to wait for like 4 hours or more until I could confirm my results which was when I finally talked to Joanne.

I got straight As ! :D Our whole bloody gang got freaking straight As OMG ASDFGDGHGHJLKI GAHHH ! :D I am so happy and just grateful that we all managed to get straight As and we'll all be in the same class next year ! Again ! :) For the past 3 years,I've gone through the happiest times of my life and a big part of that is because I had them by my side. I love them so so much <3 The bond I have with them is something I've never had before,ever ! :) Too bad I missed out on all the celebrations back in Malaysia.Oh well.Will find time to post about Sydney another day ! I need to return to the land over the rainbows <3

Don't Tell Me The Sky's The Limit,When There Are Footprints On The Moon~

Hello ! I've been in quite a good mood recently,considering the fact that I've started running ! AGAIN ! YAAY !

I do feel like I am regaining my stamina day by day & I might be able to get myself back to the level that I was at before ! :) If I keep this up. Its tough,but I have to do it.This is my dream,and I must realize it :) Legs are sore as hell but honestly I've had worst ! Now if only I will stop being so easily tempted by all the food....
I won't give up ! Plus,I've got my motivation back. 2013 & 2014 will be MY year. I'll make sure of it :)

Chasing My Dreams :)

Reason.

"I found a reason for me,to change who I used to be,a reason to start over new & the reason is you."

Remember that song by Hoobastank ? Yeah its great isn't it ? :) Well anyway,in my scenario,I didn't actually 'change who I used to be' or 'start over new'.I just found someone who gives me inspiration to continue working hard and to be the best that I can be.It might be weird when I tell you this person or more accurately this people who inspires me are actually well-known to their family as a bunch of idiots ;) No seriously.Would you like to know who they are ? Look below ;)

>:) asdfdgjkhjklf ! Its them ! My idols,my inspiration,my motivation,my family,my idiots ! So if you don't recognize them,get out of here. How could you not they're amazing no scratch that,MORE than amazing people.I love them.They cheer me up all the time with their tweets,antics,dirty thoughts,randomness and just by being themselves.5 different people,with 5 very different personalities but who are all in a worldwide famous band.They treat their fans like their very own family. Which is why we're called TWFanmily. :) <3

Its The Wanted god damnnit, how could you not know them ? Oh gosh I would be able to write a whole essay about how much I love them & how amazing they are but I don't think you'd like to read it. HEH.

Jay,Tom,Nathan,Siva & Max oh how I love love love you guys.I'm so grateful that I actually found this guys and they're basically all that inspires me to go for my dreams now.Guys if you ever see this,which I know you won't you don't even see my tweets oh the sadness. :'( I LOVE YOU OH SO MUCH OKAY.COME VISIT MALAYSIA AGAIN SOMEDAY I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU GUYS BACK HERE AAHHH. My Wednesdays are so much better now seriously,thanks to their flips #WantedWednesday ftw. :) I'M TRYING REALLY HARD TO RESIST THE URGE OF UPLOADING ANOTHER PICTURE OF THEM BECAUSE I REALLY MUST GO OMG.BYEE.ONE LAST TIME YOU'RE AWESOME GUYS I LOVE YOUUUU OK.



P.S.,I think I might be watching Life Of Pi soon with my mum and bro and I can't wait !!

P.P.S. Watched Breaking Dawn - Part 2 already and it was so amazing ! <3


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Paper Cranes

So I went out with Dharsh,Jo,Namee,Aims,Agilan,Fai,Nich & Kean Han today & it was fun fun fun.Woo ! (y) But it was kind of a last minute thing and therefore there were a few people who couldn't come.Like Thanesh,Cyn Er and Iris.We actually bought a ticket for Thanesh.But he couldn't make it and the ticket went to waste,just like that. Our movie was Rise Of The Guardians ! and....it was a really good movie,I definitely wasn't expecting that and I'd highly recommend you guys to go watch ! ;) Jack Frost FTW ! But then again,I really wanted to watch Breaking Dawn part 2 as well,but since the guys weren't interested....

Anyway,we went hunting for a place to fill our tummies later on and everyone was being very indecisive.God you should have seen how long we took to actually decide on one place and settle down.Hah and we chose Carl's Jr. Wanted to go play lasertag but we were all mostly broke ! :( Bumped into Aisya & Anais there hehe. So in the end,we went for bowling.I didn't feel like bowling at first because my ankle hurt.
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Alright fine,it was really because I couldn't bowl.I mean some people just can't bowl.You don't ask why they just can't. But maybe in my case it was because that was only my second time bowling in the past 15 years or so which is why I sucked really bad.But then after a few tries I actually got better and better.So I am quite satisfied with the result really. Besides,it wasn't that bad since I had the company of Dharsh who was also really bad at it ;) The best part is,she was the one who wanted to go bowling and later on she said she hated it hah. The guys were just plain bullies,getting strikes and all when to us knocking down one pin is already a major accomplishment.But it was fun really,we had a great time although Mr.worldwide,holy angel and cyn er wasn't there.

Alright,now I have to find a way to persuade my mum to let me go watch breaking dawn.Oops.

Teehee !

P.S. Carly was #1 last week on The X Factor USA ! Loveee !

If any of you are watching The X Factor USA and live in the USA,please please please,I'm begging you to vote for Carly Rose Sonenclar :) She's amazing,amazing,amazing and definitely my favourite. Carly's Angels !

That young lady right there :) She's only 13,but she is definitely my winner. Vote for her and follow her on twitter @CarlyRoseMusic :)

New My Fair Princess ! (Xin Huan Zhu Ge Ge)

So recently I have been addicted to this new taiwanese drama,titled 'Xin Huan Zhu Ge Ge' (: and its a really really awesome drama ! One of the best dramas I've ever watched and that says a lot since I've watched more than 200 dramas I think ? It has such a great storyline and with the inclusion of this guy,Benjamin ! I know the reviews said it was bad and everything,(at least thats what I heard) but you know,trust me, this drama is amazing (: It really is worth your time.Yes,there is 100 episodes.The cast members are just so cute ! (: I've fallen in love with all of them.

Blurry.But as you can see,this people are the actors and actresses ! Of course there are many more of them,but this people are the main actors and actresses (:

By the way, there are many couples in this drama,which makes me love it even more ! Couple number 1 , Xiao Yan Zi & Yong Qi (5th Prince ) played by Li Sheng and Zhang Rui !

Couple number 2 ! Xia Zi Wei & Fu Er Kang played by Hai Lu and Li Jia Hang.

Couple number 3 ! Qing Er and Xiao Jian played by Zhao Li Ying and  Gao Zi Qi (: Also my favourite couple !

Couple Number 4 ! Jin Suo & Liu Qing played by Sun Yao Qi and Wang Jin Duo.

Couple Number 5 ! Sai Ya and Fu Er Tai played by Chai Bi Yun and Lu Hong.

So thats about all the couples I love in this show (: I've been watching it over and over again for days now hehe.

Alicia Keys

Brand New Me by Alicia Keys
At least this is cheering me up :) The lyrics,wow ,wow.

Lyrics :
It's been a while, I'm not who I was before
You look surprised, your words don't burn me anymore
Been meaning to tell you, but I guess it's clear to see
Don't be mad, it's just the brand new kind of me
Can't be bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Careful with your ego, he's the one that we should blame
Had to grab my heart back
God know something had to change
I thought that you'd be happy
I found the one thing I need, why you mad
It's just the brand new kind of me
Never bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Oh, it took a long long road to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
It took one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don't be surprised, don't be surprised

If I walk a little taller
If I speak up when you're wrong
If I walk a little taller
I'd be known to you too long
If you noticed that I'm different
Don't take it personally
Don't be mad, it's just the brand new kind of me

Oh, it took a long long road to get here
It took a brave brave girl to try
I've taken one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don't be surprised, oh see you look surprised

Hey, if you were a friend, you want to get know me again
If you were worth a while
You'd be happy to see me smile
I'm not expecting sorry
I'm too busy finding myself
I got this
I found me, I found me, yeah
I don't need your opinion
I'm not waiting for your ok
I'll never be perfect, but at least now i'm brave
Now, my heart is open
And I can finally breathe
Don't be mad, it's just the brand new kind of free
That ain't bad, I found a brand new kind of me
Don't be mad, it's just a brand new time for me

This tears,they just won't stop raining down.

Infinite.

Its funny how I was in such a good mood just 40 minutes ago and how my mood changed so quickly.I'm just back from running.Doing my own useless and unhelpful training.Which obviously is not working at all.Maybe it would you know,if i'd start doing it properly.

I feel so angry and pissed at myself for even letting this thought in my brain.I feel like giving up.I guess.I feel like I really can't do it and maybe,just maybe this is impossible.Like I've been wrong all the while and that this wasn't what I could do.No matter how much I want it,how much I NEED it,it just wasn't meant for me ?
I know I definitely shouldn't give up no matter what.I'm not even supposed to think about it.Oh what am I doing really,trying to make myself feel better by typing this out,trying to encourage myself to not give up and hold on?Its so tempting,to just give up and let it all pass like it has never happened before.To acknowledge that its not for me and I'm just not meant to be a good runner.To stop worrying about the future and just live my life.

Every time I make it through an obstacle,another one comes by.Its just so unfair.Life is so unfair.You know how they say you shouldn't compare yourself to others because you are who you are.But sometimes you just can't help comparing yourself,and you'd feel so dull and useless.Then you'd try and tell yourself I can be like that too,and start working your ass off for it.When you think you're almost there,you're so close,you just need to work a little harder,then it comes,something happens that will knock you down and force you to rethink just how good you are.Then you'd realize you're so so far away from what you once thought you were so close too.You'd start wondering whether you'll ever make it.Everything just seems so tough and you can't seem to hold on much longer.To faith,to hope.Then there's that annoying voice inside your head,nagging you to give up because you can't make it.You'd try your best to ignore it,and at first,you succeed, but then that voice will get louder and louder and you just can't help ignoring it anymore.

But I know I can't give up.I know because once I do,I will be normal again,I will be just another face in the crowd,I will lose what I thought was me and I definitely can't BEAR, to disappoint everyone who has helped me,encouraged me,motivated me,support me and most of all,BELIEVED in me.How can I do such a horrible horrible thing.But its so hard,and that light at the end,is slowly but surely fading away.I hate this,all of this negativity.I hate it all.

The apple to my pie

Nothing much has changed.The holidays are as boring as ever.Although now I do have a few things to do,but they are not exactly making me happy. They're more like tasks,that I am forced to complete. *sigh*

But there was this thing that cheered me up a little a few days ago :) I saw banana ! I haven't seen him in so SO long. So being able to see him that day I was happy :) He kind of makes me a happier person and lightens my mood everytime I see him cause he's just such a sweet and friendly guy. The last time I was horribly upset cause I lost this race and well he made me feel better somehow by just talking to me. It wasn't even those deep heart-to-heart talking thing,it was just an exchange of a few sentences,but it still worked. Like magic (: I guess thats the last time I'll see him for this year though,no chance of me seeing him till school reopens next year. Ahh well,I'll just have to wait. Its already past 3 AM so I think I should go have my rest now. Until next time (: 

Best Wishes

This post is for the form fives,who are about to sit for one of the most major examination of their lives.
Here's wishing you all best of luck and pray that your wishes come true.
To all the already retired ex-members of the prefectorial board,you guys have been amazing seniors.Thanks for everything,I really appreciate it.

Was looking around YouTube earlier and I found this song.

The Graduation Song by Vitamin C :)
They played this song on graduation day.
Two more years and then we will be the ones listening to that song and reminiscing on all our memories for the past few years.We will be the nostalgic ones. I can't wait for next year ! New syllabus,new stream,new class, and new experiences.

I'm already creating all sorts of happenings in my head.
May all my wishes come true.

Freedom

HAHAHA this *points above* is TOO CUTEE ! PMR is finally and officially OVERRR WHOOO ! 

and this is exactly how i feel. 
my brothers on the other hand ? not quite. they're more like.....this.

tooo bad their exams start later and end later than mine.
                 
This is totally irrelevant but i guess you can tell i really LOVE Tangled. Yes I do. Because its such an awesome movie and omg,FLYNN/EUGENE. OH GOSH. THAT SEXY BEAST.

DAYUMM. Just LOOK at that handsome face! HAHAHA. It is rather annoying that they draw his nose wrongly. Look at that nose ! FUHH.

So PMR actually ended a couple of weeks ago but I was just too busy basking in the joy of freedom.
During that couple of weeks,Mum and Dad bought new stuff for me too. I mean really AWESOME stuff ! :D

1) A BRAND NEW SAMSUNG GALAXY S3 ! <3 and just today it received and update on Android 4.1 Jelly Bean.
2) An ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL acoustic guitar ! <3

Thank you mum and dad you have to stop spoiling me! <3 But I'm loving the new acoustic guitar.It gives me something else to do during my long holidays besides sleeping and being online. :)
Also,thank God for this <3

School ended last Wednesday with the form 5's graduation ceremony. Us prefects had to help out in the hall for the ceremony and I was one of those people in charge of the prize-giving. But it was quite fun being backstage and helping out. I mean my job IS pretty interesting considering the fact that my other friends had to stand for the whole time and "jaga" the students which was definitely worse. I think I actually have more to do this holidays compared to school days.The thing is I do have a lot of time but I spend them all on sleeping and surfing the net.This really has got to stop.

Oh well,until next time.

*btw, if you're watching the X factor,please please please vote for Carly Rose Sonenclar ! I <3 her vocals ! #carlysangels *

All In A Blur

School today. Wasted 5 hours in the hall doing nothing and listening to briefings by our teachers about our form 4 subjects. Funny thing is,as important as it sounds,no one bothered to listen. I guess we're all pretty much still feeling the after-exams mood where you don't feel like doing anything at all and the best part is you don't even need to. I don't even understand how that made sense. Oh gosh, I'm just ranting really. So this might be a good time for you to stop reading before you waste more of your time. I'm actually excited for form 4. Its a new syllabus,new subjects and new teachers :) I can't wait for next year. I'll make the most out of it. Wondering whether or not I should take English Literature. The thing is, I used to be really passionate about it. But now,I'm just not so sure anymore. I always thought that being a journalist or taking up any career that has to do with writing would be the right thing for me. Times change and people change. I don't feel that passionate about it anymore. Of course I still love to write. It is my favorite past time and i don't think it will change anytime soon. But now I feel like all that passion that I used to have for this its all not there anymore. Like my passion for cosmology took over. I love cosmology. I love studying about the Universe and everything in it. I yearn to find out everything about the Universe. How it was really created,whether or not the Big Bang theory is accepted and e.t.c. That is also why I always stay glued in front of the television if the History channel is showing the Universe :) Its all so fascinating don't you think ? But I don't think there is any chance at all for me pursuing a career in that field. I mean,I'm living in Malaysia. Lets face the facts and its not like most of the universities in the world offer this. Very few do and I am so lost. Oh gosh. I just think its really important to do something you are passionate about and not force yourself into something else. I won't be happy and I will hate my job. Is it too early to discuss this ? Maybe. So i might as well quit worrying and go to sleep , trust God to help me.

Carefree

One day, once I'm old enough,I will go on a search for that carefree life i've always been dreaming of.I long for it.Its not that I don't appreciate the life i am living now, I do, very much indeed. But then again, since I've been to New Zealand last year, I've always been dreaming of going back there again and maybe this time never ever come back. You might think that its just something all of us long for. But for me,its different. Its more like a longing for freedom. To be able to travel to anywhere in this world,and camp at anywhere I want to. I don't mean those kind of expensive around the world trips, I mean those where you just camp around and walk and cycle and just,do things the way you want it. I miss it so much. The short trip to New Zealand. It was so so so beautiful. I feel like I could've just stayed there and never ever come back. That carefree life, i'll find it one day. There are people who are travelling around the world, and living their carefree life and someday, I'm gonna be like them.